Why I Suck at April Fool’s Day

I really do love a good prank.  As a kid I used to watch “Candid Camera” and laugh until milk came out my nose.  Even today, the memory of that theme song makes me smile.
A fake business interview?  Hilarious. 
A surprise talking toilet?  Delightful!
Later, when Punk’d came on the scene, I was hooked.  I’m no good at math but I’m pretty sure that:
Ashton Kutcher + Celebrity Pranks = Must See TV.
So it would go without saying that I love April Fool’s Day.  Most people reset someone’s alarm clock for an hour early and call it a day.  Some even go so far as to throw a little saran wrap over the toilet.  But not me.  I’m ridiculously AWESOME at pulling off pranks, which has come back to bite me. 
Case in point:
Once in college, a friend was applying for the armed forces.  As part of the entry process, she had to take a drug test which she may or may not have been worried about passing (allegedly).  She was waiting to hear back from some officer somewhere about whether or not she had been accepted. 
It was April 1st, so I thought it would be HILARIOUS to have a guy friend leave a message pretending to be said officer, telling her that there was  ‘some concern’ over her drug screening. 
Good joke right?  Well it really would have been if I had been smart enough to have him say “April Fool’s” at the end of the message. 
Sadly, I didn’t.  Instead, I decided to take it one step further and leave a 2nd dummy voicemail before I finally left a final, third voice message yelling, “April Fool’s!”. 
So here’s how it went down… my friend got back to her dorm room after class, listened to the fateful voicemail, stopped the answering machine, and called the REAL officer in a panic.  She told him she’d gotten his message and was concerned that she’d failed the drug test.  Gratefully, this guy had a sense of humor and told her that someone was messing with her.  It was only then that she listened to the rest of the messages and figured out that the jackass who had set her up had been none of than yours truly.  (Whoops?)
I think I apologized for about a year before she forgave me and by some miracle we are still friends today.  I haven’t pulled an April Fool’s Day prank since.
Fast forward to current day…
My daughter, who I’ve affectionately blog-named Peanut, and I were discussing April Fool’s Day just last night.  I asked her to think of a funny trick to play on Daddy.  Her idea was to draw a picture of a breakfast meal and put it on the table, pretending it was his real breakfast.  Sweet.  Innocent.  Perfect.
I think I’ve got a thing or two to learn from this kid.

Toast, a carrot, and easter eggs.  Breakfast of champions.

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