Horseback Hijinx, Part II

If you haven’t read Part I of our Horseback Hijinx, you can find it here. (I recommend you read that first.)

To set the scene: Chuck and I have just realized that our horses have walked us on to the wrong end of a driving range.

If you were a sane person and found yourself in our position, what would you do? GET OFF THE EFFING HORSE, RIGHT?

But no.  My fight or flight impulse was broken, apparently. Thankfully, the horses knew what to do.  Both of them took off at a full gallop again and in no time, we were on a busy street, merging with the local traffic.


Sadly, this was before the days of the cell phone camera.  Because if I could have stopped and grabbed a picture of my brother and I on horseback in the middle of rush hour in Bali, I totally would have.

But, to give you an idea, imagine being on horseback in this:

Not. Good.


We were only a few hundred yards from the hotel, gratefully.  Our social butterfly guide was very happy to see us.  A little too happy, apparently, because he started yelling and waving his hands as he ran towards us. Apparently, this is not the best way to approach a horse.


Are you freaking kidding me, dude?


The horses trotted right around the arms-a-flailing guide, towards the stable.  Mine decided to take a detour and climb the stairs to visit the open-air lobby of the hotel.


Nothing to see here, people. (Alternative caption: Worst. Photoshop Job. Ever.)

Source (lobby)

            Source (horse)


Chuck’s horse decided to take off running for the stables.  Sadly, there was a low-hanging branch on that path.  Chuck grabbed on to the branch, while the horse kept running.  When I finally got off my horse and found him, he looked like this:


Not his finest hour.



The good news is that no person or animal was harmed during this whole ordeal.  But can you blame Chuck and I for shuddering every time we see a brochure like this?


You see adventure and freedom. We see golf balls and powerlessness.



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