We’ve had some good times, you and me. But now it’s time to have “the talk.”
You knew it was coming.
While slowly dropping sizes and needing to purchase a new wardrobe every 3-6 months, you’ve been there for me with your trendy clothes and your reasonable prices.
But, my dearest, H&M, we are through.
I’ll cherish the good times. Remember those gray tie front flare leg pants? Swoon. And that pink cardigan with gray buttons? I cuddled with it when no one was looking.
I learned how to have boundaries in my relationship with you, H&M. After all, no thirty-something needs to don a neon pink paper-thin tee saying “Press Here.”
But there was that one set of racks….you know the ones I mean. Downstairs, between the “I want to look like Bieber” section and the “I wear 27 messy layers to make it look like I’m not trying” racks.
Yes, our love bloomed in the “I am a professional but don’t want to look old” corner.
Through my hours spent with you, I learned that even normal-sized people have to try on lots and lots (and LOTS) of outfits before finding one that looks right, feels right, and fits right. See when you are obese, you don’t get to have a style. You just have to wear what ever fits you at the one store (Hi Lane Bryant! Hope you are well!) that carries what you need. You taught me how to have standards, H&M.
But despite the flare leg jeans that hugged me just right and the impossibly cheap camis, there’s been a growing rift between us.
It started during my last visit. I was in our special place, perusing the work wear, when I found a beautiful blouse. It was love at first sight; I wanted one in each of the four colors. As I looked at the tags, though, I was dismayed. There was no XL in the white. No XL in the chardonnay. Or the bird’s egg or the chartreuse.
I asked the salesperson if there were any additional sizes in the back. She answered flatly, “No, what we have out is what we’ve got.”
Hmmm.
“If I need another size, can I order it at the cashier?” I asked sweetly.
“No.”
<awkward silence>
“Online?”
“No.”
<pregnant pause as frustration mounts>
“How would you recommend I get the size I need, then?”
<dramatic sigh and eye roll to match> “What size are you looking for, ma’am?”
“An XL.”
Here comes my favorite part. Wait for it…. waaaaaaiiiiitttt for it….
“Oh, you’d be lucky to find an XL in anything in our store. We don’t carry plus sizes.”
<stunned silence>
Let’s pause here so I can just tell you that I’ve lost over 80 pounds in the last year and a half. And while I definitely started in plus sizes, I now proudly wear a size 12. On a good day, I can comfortably wear my size 10 jeans. In many stores, I wear a Large-sized top. But with YOU, dear H&M, it’s different. You tend to cut your clothes smaller.
To say that I am plus sized for not fitting into YOUR large is a deal breaker. And to tell me I’d be lucky to find something that fits, considering I wear the same size as the average American woman, well that’s just insulting.
Try harder, H&M.
I could forgive you for one lapse in judgment. One bad day. But I’m no punching bag; I wrote a strongly worded letter to your corporate office, detailing my disappointment. I left my full name. My phone number. My email. I was hopeful you’d make things right; I thought we could work things out, you and me.
But you didn’t call or write, H&M.
It’s ironic, really. Those very boundaries you taught me about not settling for a cardigan a shade too pink, or a pair of jeans 1/2 inch too long; those very lessons I learned about taste and style among your racks, are the very reasons that we are through.
Because I am the one with standards now, H&M.
Today, I am a normal-sized person. It’s taken me a long, long time to be able to write that sentence and believe it. And as a normal sized person, I don’t have to feel lucky when a mainstream store carries my size.
In fact it is you, H&M, who are lucky. As a normal-sized woman, I now have a vast spectrum of options when it comes to clothes shopping. Literally hundreds of stores compete for my time and attention and dollars on a daily basis.
I am wanted.
And for the last year, I have invested a lot of that time and many of those dollars with you. But in addition to a few cute outfits I also got a healthy dose of public shame. And you know what? That’s not good enough for the new me.
I may have to try on lots and lots (and LOTS) of new stores to find one that fits me. I may have to sift through many nearly right and almost perfect outfits to find one that reflects my style.
But I will.
We are through, H&M. I will miss you, particularly your accessory wall. But from now on I will only spend my time and money in stores that feel lucky to have me there.
Because I’m worth it. And nothing looks as stylish as dignity.
UPDATE: I received a formal apology and a request for details about the offending employee from H&M Customer Service. I responded to their letter here.
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Your comments are better than a faux fur vest on double clearance.
Please leave one below!
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OMG! I so know what you mean. New to your blog and already LOVE it!!!!! Will be back.
Welcome! Glad to see you here…look forward to welcoming you back soon.
I was curious as to what you were going to say. I was afraid it would be political/ anti-conservative. This is RIDICULOUS. I don’t shop at H&M anyway, but now I have a very good reason. I’m so proud of you — what an accomplishment. Enjoy your new clothes!
Me? Political?
SHARING! Bring it down girl! This schmidt’s gotta go! Corporate BS. I am completely appalled at H&M AND for your experience. Thanks for exposing!! xoxo
Thank YOU for helping give this post a voice. Your reposts on FB drove a bunch of traffic to the site. You are awesome, lady!
Good job Girl! All the way around! I am proud of you and am glad you are strong enough to call it all out. I think many would have been embarrassed and had a set back.
I applaud you and hope you enjoy expanding your horizons while trying on all those new, smaller sizes.
Thanks for the vote of support. I like the mental image of expanding my horizons while narrowing my waistline. Well said.
Congrats on your hard work and weight loss Liz! I am about your size now also and can exactly relate to how you feel. I never cared for H&M personally and never could find anything there either. Clothes everywhere are cut differently. I try everything on and just buy what I like. But I feel your frustration in your treatment and in being ignored. How dare you be “normal”.
I think some 12′s are cut for women without curves.
But just for the record, I’ve never met a woman who wears a 12 who isn’t curvy. Not. One.
Good for you!!!
I wear an XL too and can never find my size. One time in Express in college I found the perfect dress. It zipped all the way until my chest and it wouldn’t go any further. It was a size 10 and was THE dress for a formal event I was going too. I literally needed one inch! When asking for a 12? Sales lady told me they didn’t have above a 10. I left so embarrassed.
If I had a dime for every one of these stories….
I have to wear an XL because of my “girls” (and I’m not referring to my daughters here. Ahem.). Even weight loss isn’t going to change that much…
J’adore. Mama is proud. And lacking for words right now. But I believe I’m trying to say that it’s your pride we’re left with here, not any kind of angst. And that’s the greatest damn thing ever.
Thanks for the kind words, Tracy. And for the reposts.
But your tweet about how my writing has improved? That one will stay with me for a long, long time. Je t’adore aussi.
I could totally see this being featured on the Today Show or something. Anytime you wanttoshop with a fellow size 10-12 at Ann Taylor Loft just say the word
I’ll shop with you any day, girl. Let’s schedule a “very important business meeting” in the near future that “requires us to meet offsite”, shall we?
Wow! Good for you!
I wear a 4 at most stores. Then I go in the trendy ones and I’m a large? I won’t shop there (mostly for moral reasons. And because I don’t like to feel like I wear several sizes bigger than I do. But the moral reaons also, yes.)
What is that teaching kids???
I’m so glad you stood up for yourself!
Who feels like wearing several sizes bigger than they normally wear? Especially when they’ve just lost a ton of weight?
You’d think the marketing folks would get on this…. amiright?
This is crazy… I am going to soon be working on getting back into my size 12s after just having had a baby and if someone said something like that to me after getting back to that size, I would be really upset. Not to mention that the store doesn’t allow you to get the size you need through some other channel (like online!). This store doesn’t sound like they will be in business long anyway. Geez!
Oh they’ve been around for a while.
In fairness, they are a European company (and EU sizes are cut straighter and smaller) but with their chain in the US booming, one would hope they’d make certain….adjustments.
Congrats on the baby!!!
Hope to see you soon, Heather.
Good for you! Let’s bring this movement to Asia where, you probably remember, a supposed “large” is, on a lucky day, what we might find on the SMALL racks in the US. Ridiculous. Good.For.You.
I was thirty five pounds lighter than I am now when I lived in Singapore. And I had to have my clothes tailor made because there WERE no stores that carried clothes big enough for me. Unbelievable.
Love to you!
Good Lord – what is wrong with people???
It’s a good day when this happens and I leave the store asking that question instead of, “What’s wrong with ME?”
Great entry… I often choose my shopping locations by the people working the desk… at my size old navy, buckle, guess, and affliction are usually off the table.
Hello, mens warehouse and I know my tailor by name.
Tailors are key…especially if you don’t want to look “off the rack.”
Though, with 2 little kids, a marriage, and a career, off the rack is the best I can do most days.
Hope you are well, GD!
Oh so beautifully well written…it’s a hard road to realizing how perfect you are as a “normal sized woman.” It’s a shame that so many stores choose not to embrace each and every customer that walks through their door as oh so special and dear to their hearts. I imagine as your post spreads around the social media world this could have quite the impact…and I hope it does
I would love to open a dialogue with H&M (and other retailers) about this issue. We’ll see if this post got enough attention to make an impression… or if it was just a drop in a bucket.
Go get em! There are plenty of places that are happy to have you – and their clothes are better quality.
Since they didn’t respond to your letter, print this post off and mail it in.
Someone else suggested that I print this off and mail it directly to the CEO. Ha! Can you imagine? I really should…
I can’t believe she said that to you!!!! I’m so glad you wrote them a letter and have at least made an attempt to get the word out. As a plus-sized woman, I know how difficult it is to find clothing, and having to wear whatever the store has to offer. (That’s me waving back at you from inside Lane Bryant.) Good for you for standing up for yourself and your dignity!!
If you keep doing what you are doing, Abby, you and me will be shopping together in no time.
I had something similar happen at a Gap once — when I had just lost weight and was fitting comfortably into size 14. I noticed there were no size 14s available (but there were larger sizes) and I asked the associate for a size 14. She said, “Oh, we don’t have any — we run out of those larger sizes faster.” I was like, “REALLY?!” First, you HAVE larger sizes. Second, little miss skinny thang, for some of us, size 14 is a SMALLER size. A size we’re PROUD to finally REACH.
I applaud you for giving H&M the big F you. Here’s reality: XL is OK — even normal — for some women.
It’s such a tough situation to have happen, ESPECIALLY when you’ve just lost weight.
And I believe that the larger sizes sell faster (hello? America? We are BIG people. For better or for worse).
What I DON’T get is how the retailers aren’t jumping on this like white on rice and providing TONS more of the larger sizes. Can we say supply and demand??
Oh. No. I would be SO mad. I’m glad you are able to recognize that the problem is not yours!
Oh you MUST be kidding me. One horribly judgemental salesperson I can excuse, but being totally ignored when you bring it to their attention? Good to know that’s what they’re like. I’m happy to take my money elsewhere as well, they may not like my hair color or that my butt’s a little big. Sheesh.
That’s exactly how I felt… this poor 20-something had no idea that she had just put her finger on the pulse of the problem.
Punish her? That’s like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole.
The PROBLEM is the availability of sizes and the sizing itself. Period.
Very well written. Shared on Twitter. I am amazed at the level of inexperience most sales people have. And I don’t mean inexperience in customer service. I mean inexperience in being a likeable human being.
You are right, she was downright unlikeable. But she was also right – based on the way that H&M has supplied their stores, I WOULD be lucky to find my size there.
And that, H&M, is why we are at an impasse.
Thank you for reposting!
This is exactly why blogging is powerful. Thanks for using your voice. Glad to here H&M finally contacted you.
Me too! Now to figure out what to say to them…
Woohoo Go RYAN!! I too am going to boycott H&M on PRINCIPAL. How dare they. Isn’t it a service business after all?? Can you go in there with bags from Saks and Victoria Secret and nordstrom and walk up to that snot nosed sales woman and say, “you guys work on commission right? (holds up bags a la Pretty Woman) Big Mistake! Huge! I have to go shopping now …” I hope everyone posts this and everyone bans H & M.
I am going to now daydream of the day I walk in with Audrey Hepburn sunglasses and have my Pretty Woman moment with that store.
Big mistake. HUGE!
(But will Richard Gere a la 1995 be waiting for me in a limo? THAT is the question…)
OMG, I cannot believe that salesgirl SAID that!! Talk about needing a refresher in customer service, not to mention tact.
And XL should not be considered “plus sized” that is ridiculous. I never shop at H&M (I find the styles…odd) but now I definitely won’t.
I do say I wish the fashion world would come up with a sizing standard and STICK WITH IT. Makes no sense how I could be a size 2 at one store and a size 8 at another. Seriously? WTF?
Good luck in finding another dream store that fits you right (size AND sales attitudes)
You are so right. I am vexed that when shopping for men’s wear, the sizes are MEASUREMENTS but when shopping in the women’s section, the sizes are a BRAND.
It’s wrong, wrong, wrong.
I like Maureen’s answer.
This is the problem with our culture, our society, the way women are objectified and made to believe that thin is in and a size 12 is a PLUS size. And honestly, I have huge issues with calling a size, a plus. No wonder so many beautiful young girls have eating disorders. As you told this incredible cautionary tale, all I could think of were the young girls who shop at H&M. The young girls who don’t yet have the perceptive wisdom of an adult. The young girls who might already be feeling self conscious and then have something like that said to them. Our society is sadly negligent when it comes to making every girl feel worthy, no matter their size. I can only hope H&M wizens up and learns a thing or two. I’m sure you’re not the only one.
I thought of my 2 daughters a lot after that little run in. And I realized that I need to stick up myself as much for them as for me. Thanks for the support, lady!
I was so excited when the first H&M opened nearby a few years ago. Though I have never been treated as rudely as you were, I have often felt frustration shopping there. Excellent post and shame on them.
Thanks, Poppy. Though I’m sad to not shop there any more, it feels good to stick up for myself.
I love your blogs and you are so right!!!!!!!!!
Amen, sister!
Amazing post!
Congrats on your weight loss! You know, an H&M recently opened here in Kansas City. I was planning to make a trip out there to see what they had to offer. Now that I know it’s snobbery, I’ll take my money elsewhere.
I wish the snobbery was limited to one cranky salesperson; anyone can have a bad day, that’s no big deal. But to not carry normal sizes? Or to carry fewer of the larger sizes? Not ok.
Way to go!!! I am a size 6-8, definitely normal size woman and I can’t stand how small their clothes are or many other stores for that matter. I am not sure why stores are choosing to go that way, making someone who is really a large size need an extra large or someone who needs a medium need a large, but it’s just not cool. Glad you wrote them a letter. They are losers for not making it right. I don’t usually shop there but now I never will!
They did respond to my post today via Twitter and asked to hear more. I wonder what I’ll tell them…. stay tuned!
W.O.W. I’d say I’m surprised at the treatment you received, but I’m not. H&M, Gap, Old Navy – they’re all the same. They cater to young, thin somethings, and aren’t really interested to tap into an older, more realistically-sized demographic. It’s just like the magazines with the air-brushed models. All the pressure to be thin. Osostracized or made to feel like you’re a freak if you aren’t. Those comments from the salesperson? I can’t wait until that little bitch adds another 10 years and 2 kids to her life. Let’s see if she still has the same attitude about XL. I’m happy to say that I’ve NEVER shopped at H&M, except for the time that a friend asked me to tag along. Pure. Torture. Head to Buckle if you love young clothes. Certainly not cheap and not necessarily for work, but they treat you like a rock star without fail. THE place to buy jeans and not one hint of “you’re not meant to be here.” Customer service SO great that I tell them each and every time I go. No joke.
Definitely have to check out Buckle. I DO love jeans…
Okay, wow – piss off, H&M. I’m with you!
PS: Congrats on losing the 80 lbs.!
Why thanks! Losing 80 pounds is a big accomplishment but finding a store that carries affordable, stylish clothes I like may be MORE difficult.
I am surprised that they do not carry XL, but then I am not. This is the same company that got bad press last month b/c they were using computer generated “virtual bodies” with models faces in their on line store. They don’t care about the image and how it makes us feel they just there for the money. On the other hand it does not make us feel too great either, the fabrics are cheap and itchy and they are not that fashion forward. Better spend your money at Zara or Rainbow.- friend of sarah’s
Zara or Rainbow? Hmmm, will have to check those out.
Thanks for stopping by! Hope to see you here again soon.
Ok. I’m a man in my early 30′s. I consider myself stylish. I’m gnomishly short, but earlier in life I could always find something nice to wear. I’m now arried, have a child, and my waistline has grown…I’m not obese, and I’m not skinny. I was also obsessed with H&M, but quit them as you have. My waist size is 33, up from a 32 most of my adult life. This is not large. Im a very small half-a-man, nothing about me is large, except my ego. I cant find clothes that fit me in H&m. Hollister is worse (although maybe I’m too old to wear that shit anyway, but i do love their hoodies, only i tried on an XL, & it was still embarrassingly too tight. Just my story. Unreal!
Another 30-something, egotistical H&M quitter named Ryan. We are taking over the world, my friend!
The rest of all of this has me shaking my head in frustration along with you.
But your reply to Ryan here?
Has got me smiling big time.
And your closing line: “Nothing looks as stylish as dignity?”
That right there gave me goosebumps.
Well done, lady.
Thanks, Julie!
Ryan’s comment just goes to show that there really is no such thing as an original. Everyone has a twin out there somewhere.
So mine is a dude. Big deal.
I’m so proud of you, Ryan. This post has helped so many women who felt to insecure to stand up for themselves. You are an amazing friend & writer! Thank you for sharing your story. Here’s to Matt Lauer or Ellen….or Oprah
contacting you!!! Go get ‘em!
Hugs to you, lady! Can you imagine if Oprah contacted me? The very thought makes my toes tingle.
I think this one relationship that is worth ending and bad mouthing after.
Size 12 XL- My ass! (Literally my ass!)
Literally my ass, too.
Asses unite!
Good for you for sticking up for yourself!
A size 12 is normal. Not plus sized. I bet that salesperson was a skinny bitch.
I can’t remember if she was skinny (clearly less than a size 12, however). I can remember thinking that she was NOT a teenager; she may not have ben 30 but she was definitely not 17.
This whole post pissed me off. I’m on your team. I quit H&M, not that I’d be able to find anything in my size if I didn’t quit them. *deep sigh* *eye roll*
So many deep sighs on this end…
That I have to quit the store in order to be true to myself as a woman (and a parent of 2 little girls).
That H&M wants to respond to my post by knowing EXACTLY who said this (like the rude salesperson is the biggest problem here).
Thanks for being on my team. I’m lucky to have you!
My wife used to love H&M, but every time she’d sneeze in one of their items, the whole thing would fall apart. Total crap. And the stores always gave me a headache. You’re better off without them.
Your comment made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the vote of confidence!
You need to tweet this out to H&M.
Really, insufferable. To treat people with disdain, insufferable.
Many, many folks sent this to H&Ms Facebook page but they quickly pulled each post down within minutes.
However, to their credit, H&M is now involved and has reached out to me personally via email. I responded to them this morning and published my letter on the blog. Can’t wait to hear what you think!
What a FABULOUS post!! I cannot believe a salesperson said something like that – she should be fired. That is customer “service” at its worst. A store like that does not deserve your business, period. And I love H&M. But now I won’t be shopping there either. Wow.
At any rate, this was an amazingly well-written post with a story everyone (especially H&M Corporate) needs to hear. I hope this one goes viral for you.
My concern is less with the sales person and more with the way she totally summarized the feeling of shopping at H&M. She’s right – the store makes me feel like I SHOULD feel lucky to find something that fits. And that’s not her fault – that’s a corporate marketing decision.
WOW… I had no idea. First of all congratulations on the new you! What an incredible achievement. I had no idea that store was like that. This piece was so well written. You didn’t just complain. You told your story and made a powerful and moving point. I still can not believe they said that!!!! I am so not shopping there!! -LV
Thank you for the kind words about my writing. You never know when the mojo is going to happen and you crank out one of your best pieces. For this piece? I was sitting in the lobby while my daughter took gymnastics.
See? You never know.
*STANDING OVATION!* Good for you. Loved this.
Thank you, January!
Not that I’m glad this happened to you, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who’s experienced this sort of crappy interaction with a sales clerk. A number of years ago (I was probably in my mid 20s) I was at the mall and wandered into Forever 21 (mistake #1.) I saw a cute pair of pants, and looking at the tag I saw they came in S, M and L (mistake #2, I should have known this wasn’t going to work.) I asked a clerk what the size equivalent for a large was, and her answer was 7-9. I jokingly asked, “Ah, you don’t happen to have it in an XXL, do you?” She did the same eye roll/exasperated tone as your H&M gal and said “No. Our customers aren’t that big.” Ouch. Point taken. It’s about time someone did something to help teach these people some manners and decency. Looking forward to hearing their response!
It happens nearly everywhere and it is SO unacceptable. One would think that a company would JUMP at the chance to positively revolutionize the industry (and get all those thankful customers!). Let’s see how H&M reacts to the letter I sent them today…
Ryan:
You are an amazing women….and H&M doesn’t deserve any woman to shop in there store! I cringed when I heard the story and hearing it the second time around just makes me angry that people can be so insensitive. The sales clerk was just plain mean and for no reason at all. She heard a size/number and made a lot of assumptions that were not true!
Oh, Tina. You are so wonderful and I’m so blessed to have you in my life. You were the first person I told this story to and your reaction made me realize that others needed to hear it. So thank you.
#1 I am completely swooning over you and this post right now! Sock it to ‘em!
#2 YES, you are a normal sized woman!! Further, you are an average sized woman!
#3 I feel your pain with the XL crap. I am a size 10, sometimes a 12. I have big boobs and more often than not, these trendy stores that cater to younger women (I’m 42) think a L means B cups. Get real!
Fuck H&M (if I may be so crude on your blog). I’m gonna boycott them too. Good for yu!
The boob thing is a real issue and probably the largest (ha) reason I wear an XL. I feel your pain on the Large meaning a B cup. Seriously.
Oh, bravo. This is so great, and I just love that last line.
Good for you. The fashion world needs a reality check.
I wrote them back last night (and posted it here this morning). Let’s see if they continue the conversation or drop the ball. What’s the over/under here?
[...] you for your email (and tweet) regarding my recent post on The Woven Moments. I appreciate your earnest apology and want to believe you when you say that [...]
Oh my god. I can’t believe this! How offensive. I wish you all the luck finding a new clothing partner. I just recently moved to NYC and have yet to go into an H&M. I didn’t have one in my former corner of the world. And honestly, I think I may just keep my distance.
Avoiding H&M is my first line of defense. To their credit, however, they sent me a formal apology via email and asked for more detail. Check out my response to them (which I published on my blog this morning).
Nice job! I hope you hear back from them and they have a decent response, but really, what could they say at this point?
Try Loft – I just got some great jeans there. They have fantastic, decently priced business attire. Also, The Limited has some of the best fitting pants I’ve had (no need for taking them in at the waist like I do with most brands – I’m a bit hippy, lol). And both of those stores often have 40% off everything in the store sales so their prices are reasonable. Every store is going to try to cater to the skinny market, that’s how they advertise: “buy our clothes and you’ll look like this size 0 super model,” but most stores at least carry reasonable sizes! Good luck with your shopping experiences!!
Others have recommended Loft. I like their stuff and it fits great… I just like to have something a smidge more edgy. I think Limited is probably the way to go.
Thanks for the suggestions!
[...] 3rd and 4th held at the Richmond Coliseum.Favorite posts I didn’t read, I mean, write:H&M, I Quit You: From The Woven Moments, my friend writes “… to tell me I’d be lucky to find [...]
I have always worn a larger size than store clerks expect. Can’t tell you how many times they responded in shock and then said, “Well just try this size.” Of course it wouldn’t fit. As for H&M, I have always loved their prices and the different stock they carry, but without fail the sizing is inconsistent and one L will fit and another XL groans as I try to put it on.
I applaud you following through on this.
I wore an H&M size “L” dress just the other day (before this post). No problem.
But then an XL doesn’t fit? Or doesn’t even EXIST? It’s just weird.
Thanks for the support, Amanda!
I love it when we use the blogosphere as a weapon. Sometimes, when I am mad at a company, I want to say “I have a blog and I’m not afraid to air my grievance about your company” I have a few times, but it hasn’t taken off the way yours did. Good for you!!
I have had that “I’v got a blog and I’m not afraid to use it” moment a few times myself.
To be honest, I had no idea this post would take off the way it did. I wrote it while my daughter was in gymnastics. On a Tuesday.
We’ll see what comes of it – maybe nothing – but I’m happy to be part of the rising tide of awareness.
Thanks for reading!
I used to get this same snooty treatment in Ann Taylor. I am 5’10″ and plus sized and when I would go into AT with my petite friends, I would be ignored and never asked if I needed anything. AT is not my style and I was just tagging along but the second class treatment was obvious. They used to have their sizing posted on the window of the store too. 0-14 I think. With an emphasis on the petite sizes. But the joke is now on them as they now carry up to a size 18 and I wont shop there for myself. And for the record women that are 5’10″ and up and less than a size 8 look ill.
So funny – AT Loft is the first suggestion many people have after reading this post.
It just goes to show that a huge fashion corporation’s face is always going to be that of it’s hourly worker.
I have found that companies large, small, and in between do not care about you. I like to write companies for good or bad and found that those that respond are few. Those that respond with a solution, count them on one hand. No one is exempt – Mc Donald’s, P&G, etc. mc D’s told me, oh well, so sorry. Anyway, as a size 2 or size 16 I wore an XL top. My ribs are big I guess, cuz it ain’t the boobs! Finding the right fit is so mind fixing. When I wrote asking why they don’t have XL, I was always ignored. I’m starting to run out of stores I can shop at because the others will not get my business if they are going to be douches. Have you tried goodwill! I usually exchange my oldies for one or two newies.
You know, I need to shop at Goodwill more. Not only is it re-cycling, in many cases it is UP-cycling. Older clothes tend to have better quality and many styles are so classic, it’s ok if they are not new.
And plus, vintage is SO in right now.
I shop at Goodwill often. Find things there often from the 80′s or even 90′s when a girl could find things to fit….
I have a unique-to-some problem in that I have a long torso. I find women’s shirts to be too squatty and short. I peruse young men’s departments and buy size small cotton blend button up shirts or cardigans. Size men’s small is hard to find (an issue for some men I’m sure!), however, when I find shirts that fit me suitably, I just take them, roll up the cuffs and tack them down with some stitches, then embellish the pocket or replace the buttons, if needed, to make them prettier.
Oh! To have the time to sift through racks and racks of vintage clothes. It’s a fabulous idea, though. There are some great consignment boutiques near me that I could visit too!
This is by far one of the BEST posts I have read about standing up to “the man” that is “fashion”. I am a size 14 (when not pregnant) but because I have the large bewbs, I have to buy monster-sized shirts to avoid gaping (since you know, Mrs. Sluiter’s cleavage on display is a no no when you teach high school) and have them tailored quite frequently.
I get frustrated and down on myself ALL THE TIME about stores with this attitude.
Glad you used your words and got your message to them!
::Fist pump::
First, let me say that there is a frightening lack of fist pumping in real life. So thank you.
Second, I think I shall always have to use your improved spelling of “bewbs.”
Third, HOW ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ALREADY? I just read some of your blog and wow. Just wow.
Wow!! and good for you, on all counts. So perfectly put “Nothing looks as stylish as dignity” – Thank you Katie for sending me over to read!!
Welcome, Paula! I’m glad you agree; dignity never goes out of style!
p.s. 80 pounds? Girl. You must be so proud. MUST.
Proud? Yes. Done? No.
Oh, this. A long time ago I lost 75 pounds and learned to have a style. I learned to have standards. And I hear my own voice in your words.
H&M has needed this lesson for a long time.
Agreed.
But there is a lesson *I* need to learn from *YOU*.
WHERE DO YOU SHOP!?!?!
First, I applaud your approach with this, and that you didn’t allow a young sales girl to ruin your day.
H&M sizes and fits are ridiculous. I’ve been in the stores and have looked at garments – many of them are very pretty – but to think they would fit is absurd. I am almost age 40. I do not have stick arms and stick legs any longer – actually, I NEVER had stick legs – and I have an hourglass figure. My weight/height would get me into one of the sizes they regularly carry but my shape – forget it.
I’ve found that to be a problem with many large retail establishments – the “hip” clothes are meant only to fit a very narrow range of body types. By hip, I suppose I’m meaning Junior Miss. On the same token, it’s Frumpy Frumpville in the other departments, and those clothes do not necessarily fit hourglass figures, either.
I’ve gone to some unusual methods to find clothes. One thing I do now is buy those “baby doll” dresses that have the elastic band right under the ribcage. The come in cute prints, but don’t work as dresses with me. If I if buy them cheap enough, I cut away the skirt from the top, and voila, a skirt with a waist small enough and a skirt flared enough. I’ve bought a crate load of colored safety pins (including black) and I use them to alter ill fitting garments. I’m planning on learning to sew so I can make my own stuff.
I’ve found ETSY to be a great place for clothes…many designers will custom fit, and reasonable prices can be found.